Gomen Nasai
by Lindz
Summary: YAOI ~ *COMPLETED* When Rufus feels like his entire life has no meaning anymore, he tries extreme measures to end it all. The last person Rufus expects to help is there to pick him up, give his life more meaning than it ever has done before.
1. Chapter 1

** Gomen Nasai**

** This story is a yaoi (male/male pairing) Don't read if you don't like. They will be nothing graphic in the story, more like suggestion of what they are doing. If you read past here and get offended, you can't say I didn't warn you. **

** This is also a dark fic, dealing with suicide, abuse etc. Don't read if you don't like these issues.**

** This is a Rufus/Reno fic. So again don't read if you don't like this couple. I'll ignore any flames about anything I've said here. I'll say it once more, if you don't like DON'T READ!**

**Summary: **When Rufus feels like his entire life has no meaning anymore, he tries extreme measures to end it all. The last person Rufus expects to help is there to pick him up, give his life more meaning than it ever has done before. **(Rufus/Reno / Yaoi / Suicidal tendencies / R)**

This fic is some how totally inspired by the song Blue by Mai Yamane and Yoko Kanno. It's the song played at the very end of the anime series Cowboy Bebop.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rufus, Reno or any other Final Fantasy character that appears in this fic. They are owned by Squaresoft.

* * *

Chapter One

_It won't hurt for much longer,_ he told himself. He wondered just how many times he had said that same line, over and over again. He managed to smile grimly.

_But this time it's true._ _It won't hurt much longer._ But this time was different. True, he didn't want it to hurt any longer, but he didn't want to die.

For the first time in his life he had something to live for. That's what was different. 

He felt his skin burn like it was on fire. He felt the growing pool of crimson touch his outstretched finger tips. With as much effort as he could muster, he dipped his fingers into the liquid and rubbed his finger and thumb together lightly. A voice rung in his head.

_No-one's ever seen him bleed or cry._

How wrong they were. Rufus would have laughed bitterly if he had the strength to. A tear ran down his cheek onto the burnt carpet below him.

_No-one's ever seen him bleed or cry._

He had bled more than once in his life. Most of the time it was courtesy of his own father. Other times it was his own doing, but never once had he cried. He never saw reason to. Until now.......

For the first time in his life, he was scared. It wasn't the first time he had stared death in the face. All the other times he was never scared, he even welcomed it. _This time I actually have....... ** had**...... something to live for._

Another tear joined the first. His skin continued to burn. The crimson liquid continued to grow. If he had the strength to, he would have curled up in a ball in the corner of the room.

Everything was silent now. He closed his azure eyes and opened them slowly again. His strawberry blonde hair was limp against his head.

_I'm sorry.........._

The number of people that would have given anything to see the President of Shinra like this. The number of people that would embedded a bullet in the young blonde's head was even higher. It didn't matter to him what they thought. Only one person mattered.

_I'm sorry..........._

**_Life's a dream. Sometimes it's a nightmare, sometimes it's pleasurable, but like everything it'll end one day, no matter how indestructible you think you are._**

Rufus remembered when he was told that. _If it's a dream, tell me why it hurts so damn much?_

As if to remind him, pain raged through his stomach. He shut his eyes tightly and breathed a shuddery breath. His head felt lighter. His vision was blurry. All he wanted to do was shut his eyes.

He gave into temptation. Slowly, he shut his cobalt eyes for the last time. He breathed unevenly a few times. 

_I'm sorry Reno._

He breathed his last shuddery breath as the rest of Midgar carried on the way it always had done.

* * * * * * * * *

**Three years earlier......**

Eighteen and Vice President of a Company he didn't really care much for. Why? Because it was his father's. There wasn't much love between President Shinra and his son Rufus. President Shinra wasn't exactly a model father. His mother wasn't any better.

Rufus dropped the black pen onto the oak desk, running a hand through his short blonde hair. He leaned back in his leather chair, rocking it back and forward a few times, before letting the chair fall back forward. He picked the pen back up and resumed with his work. 

His father's idea of a Vice President, was someone who completed all the paper work that he was too idle to do himself. He told Rufus how lucky he was to be able to land a job so easy, how lucky he was to be heir to a multi-million gil company. Rufus smiled bitterly to himself.

_How come I don't feel lucky?_

President Shinra was a forty-nine year old business man, who droned on about how he made this company from scratch. How this company was nothing without him. Rufus honestly wondered how the company actually ran. He's father was never even in his office most of the time. He was either on a trip to the Honey Bee Inn, or away in Junon. Rufus was actually glad of this fact, because whenever he was there all he did was say how his son would never be as good as he was.

It suited Rufus just fine. He didn't want to be like his father in anyway.

The President's Wife, Julia. They were still married, but had little to do with each other. They had no business in each others affairs. Rufus couldn't recall the last time he had actually seen his mother. 

Rufus often found himself thinking how things could have been. How if his parents had actually given a damn about what was going on around them, they might have been a proper family. A family who relied on each other, who cared about each other, who actually loved each other.

The pen snapped. Rufus snapped out of his thoughts to see the pen that he had been writing with snapped in half. He never even realised he was holding it like that. With a sigh he dumped the broken pen in the bin and picked up another one. Broken things could always be replaced. It was a shame that you couldn't replace broken people.

Rufus suddenly didn't feel like working anymore. He silently left his chair and walked into his apartment, which was joined to the office. 

_How convenient._ Rufus spat in his mind. It hated it. He hated all of it. He hated how he's life was already being wrote for him. He hated how no one took any notice of him.

_Wonder if anyone would notice if I..... 'disappear'?_

He noticed he was stood in his kitchen facing a block of knifes. He slowly walked towards them.

_Wonder if anyone would care if I............._

Rufus' hand slid slowly to the black handled blade and drew it out the block. He started at the silver metal glinting in the sunlight.

_Would anyone care if I.........._

He pressed the knife against the veins of his left wrist lightly. He watched as his skin went paler as he pressed harder. He released the pressure for a second, before without warning he slid it sharply across his wrist. He watched as the blood welded up then started to drip down his arm, staining his white coat.

_No one would care. _

Rufus took the knife again and slid it across his wrist for a second time, crossing over the first line. He leaned against the worktop and slid down the cupboard doors. He sat so his knees were against his chest, resting his wrist on his knee. He took the knife again and slid it across.

And again.

_No one gives a damn about you. No one will even notice._

He let the knife clatter to the floor as his head began to feel lighter. He gently let himself laid on the floor. He closed his eyes.

_No one cares._

Then everything went black.

* * * * * * * * *

_This is funny. I never knew being dead hurt this much........._

"Hey. I think he's waking up."

_Huh..........._

"Sir?"

_Wait a minute........ _

Rufus made a grunt and slowly opened his eyes. All he could make out was a blur of black, blue and red in front of him. He tried to lift his left arm up to rub his eyes, when pain shot thought his wrist. He moaned and let his arm fall back on the bed.

"Woah! You don't wanna be doing that."

Rufus tried lifting the other arm instead. Finding that he could, he lifted it up to his face and rubbed his eyes. Moving the hand up to his forehead, he opened his eyes again, trying to make them focus. As they did he groaned again.

_Turks........ Why they here?_

He let his foggy mind try and piece together odd bits of information.

_All I can remember is going home..............a knife.............. that's why they're here._

"How are you feeling sir?"

Rufus didn't answer. He closed his eyes again, deciding the sunlight was too bright for him.

"You scared the shit out of us. You know that?"

"Reno!"

"Well...... He did!"

"Reno........" The other man warned. "I hope Reno isn't disturbing you sir?"

"For fuck sake, remove the god damn pole that's stuck up your ass Tseng."

Rufus cracked one eye open to see Tseng glaring at the other Turk. Tseng saw this.

"You'll have to excuse Reno. He's having a bad day." Reno laughed bitterly.

"Bad day? I'd rather call it a fucking shit day. I've had my pay cut for something I didn't do. Then I had it cut again because I wasn't where I was meant to be....."

"And who's fault was that?" Tseng interrupted.

".............then this shit happens." Reno voice ended in a whisper. He fell back in a near by chair. "I'm too old for this."

"You're eighteen Reno, not forty-eight."

"Then why do I feel like I'm forty-eight?"

"I'm sorry to be part of you're bad day." Rufus spat out in a low grated voice. Reno sat uncomfortably for a few minutes before standing up.

"I'll be going then." He muttered before leaving the room. Tseng looked after the red head for a few minutes before turning his head back to Rufus.

"You'll have excuse him. He's gets touchy about some things." Silence invaded the room. Tseng coughed lightly and stood from his seat. "I'll be here tomorrow afternoon to take you home sir." With that the Turk left.

_"You'll have excuse him. He get touchy about some things." What the hell did that mean?_

Rufus tried to shake his foggy head clear. He'd think about it more later. He then let himself fall asleep.

* * * * * * * * *

He woke up the next morning to find his head feeling a lot clear than the day before. He cracked open his eyes a little to look around the empty white room. He stared at the ceiling for a while.

_Why did anyone save me? Didn't they know I didn't want to be saved? Wasn't it obvious what I was doing?_

He felt the anger building up. Ball his right hand into a fist, he squeezed as hard as he could. His knuckles started to go white, muscles taut, his fist shaking slightly with the pressure. He slowly calmed himself, unclenching his fist.

_I'll just have to........... try again._

There was a small knock on the door. Rufus said nothing. Tseng took that as a signal to enter. He saw that the blonde was awake so began to talk.

"Sir. Good to see you're looking well this morning." The Turk paused for a moment as if to wait for a reply he was never going to get. "I have something to take care of this morning so Reno will be taking you home." He paused again. Rufus continued staring at the ceiling. Tseng dropped some clothes on the bed. "You might want to change Sir. Reno will be outside waiting when you're ready." Tseng took a long look at the young Vice President before leaving the room.

Rufus lifted his head up slightly to look at the clothes Tseng had dropped. He sat up as if he was in a trance and started to change. Only one thought crossing his mind the entire time.

_Why didn't they leave me be?_

Reno poked his head through the door as the blonde was trying to tie the laces on his shoes. He walked in and stood near the Vice President.

"Want help with that?" Reno didn't receive an answer, so bent down and began to tie the shoes himself.

"I can do it myself." Rufus muttered so quietly Reno nearly missed it, but still the red head carried on tying them. "I said I can do it myself!" Rufus spat at the Turk. Reno looked at the blonde for a few seconds, before letting go of the shoelaces. He resisted the urge to say something back and stood up, watching Rufus as he took hold of the laces and tied them with difficulty. 

As soon as he had finished, Rufus stood up slowly, looking at the Turk once before looking to the floor.

"You got everything?" Reno asked. Rufus didn't answer. "Ready to go?" Somehow Reno knew he wasn't going to get an answer from that question either. He slowly walked to the door, seeing if the Vice President was following him. He was, so Reno carried on walking slowly out the door through the corridors. Rufus looked at the floor, following slowly behind him. 

As they left the building, Rufus asked something so quietly, Reno almost missed it again. "Why did you save me?" His voice was almost timid, something Reno never thought he'd hear from Rufus Shinra. He stopped in front of his car.

"How did you know it was me?" He asked. Rufus didn't answer. Reno carried on. "I'm a Turk. It's my duty to protect you and your family."

"If you wanted to protect me, why didn't you just let me die?" 

Reno turned around to look at the other man. 

"You weren't trying to kill yourself. You just wanted attention. That's why I saved you."

Rufus felt anger at the response.

"What do you know!?" He spat. Reno looked unaffected by the outburst.

"If you wanted to kill yourself, you would have just used your shotgun and blow a bullet through your brain." He told him. Rufus just stared.

_Maybe it is true.........._ He thought. _Maybe I just want........... attention............. someone to notice me. _ Rufus didn't talk anymore, he just stepped into the awaiting car that Reno had opened the door of.

* * * * * * * * *

Rufus stepped into his apartment, Reno following slightly behind him. He shut the door quietly as Rufus stopped in the middle of the room. Reno genuinely felt sorry for the blonde at that moment. It was if Rufus had lost his very soul.

_Maybe I would have done him a favour if I had left him................... _

Reno shook his head. He would have done nobody any favours by leaving the blonde in a pool of his own blood. But Reno couldn't help but think it would have helped him if he had.

The Vice President looked around the room for a few moments, his eyes catching the glint from the metal of the shotgun. Reno saw it at the same time, watching as Rufus took a step in that direction.

"Sir........" Rufus didn't answer, he took another step towards it. "Rufus!" Reno practically shouted this time. The blonde took the rest of the strides over to the gun, picking it up swiftly, holding it to the side of his head.

"Why would you give a damn anyway?" Rufus asked quietly. Reno watched on without answering. "Answer me!" The blonde screamed.

"I'm supposed to protect you....."

"Don't give me a half arsed answer! Tell me why **you** would give a damn!?"

Reno thought about it for a long time. He dropped his gaze from the man and looked at the floor. He carried on looking until the clicking of the safety catch on the gun made him look up.

"I used to have this friend once." Reno took a step forward. _Why the hell am I telling the brat this!? _His mind screamed, but he carried on anyway. "He was an orphan like me. We kinda looked out for each other ya know." He took another step forward. "He just seemed to get more and more depressed without me even noticing..........." Reno's voice dropped off into a whisper. "He killed himself thinking no one gave a damn about him. I wasn't quick enough to save him."

"What's this got to do with me? You don't need to use me to renew you conscience...." Rufus asked lightly. Reno chuckled.

"You think that's why told you that?" The red head shook his head. "You've got it wrong. I'm a Turk, sworn to protect you and your family at any cost. I take my job kinda seriously."

"So you're just doing this because it's you're job..........." Reno was less than a step away from the blonde now. Rufus looked at him, fiddling slightly with the gun.

"Just put down the gun and we'll talk about it, ok?"

"I don't want to talk....." Rufus almost whined. He took a strong hold on his gun and started the press the trigger. Reno acted quickly and knocked the gun upwards slightly. The gun went off with a bang. Reno watched as Rufus let go of the shotgun. It fell to the floor with a clang. The bullet had missed Rufus completely and embedded itself in the wall at the other side of the apartment. Rufus stared at the red head. "You knocked the gun......."

"I told you, I take my job seriously. Now are you gonna tell me why you're doing this or are you just gonna wallow in self pity for the rest of your life?" Reno asked.

So Rufus told him.

He told him how his own father would beat him for the slightest mistake.

He told him how his own mother had nothing to do with him.

He told him how he felt like he was alone in the world. How no one would care if he stopped living. How he would give anything to be anywhere but here. 

He told Reno everything he had never told anyone else, and he had no idea why.

Reno told him he didn't need to be alone anymore. Rufus had no idea what he had meant, until now.

* * * * * * * * *


	2. Chapter 2

** Gomen Nasai**

* * *

Chapter Two

Rufus was sat on a window seat, looking out over the smoggy city of Midgar. Smoke coming from it's eight reactors, drifting lightly into the hazy sky. If you stared for long enough, you could catch a glimpse of bright blue sky once in a while. It was always cloudy in Midgar, but the clouds themselves weren't natural.

His father had so graciously given him the week off to recover from his 'ordeal'. Rufus hadn't seen hid nor tail of his father since what happened. He doubted he would either.

_Just you wait._ Rufus thought. _Everything will be taken away from you when you least expect it and I'll be stood there laughing. _He smiled grimly. 

Rufus heard a noise from the kitchen. It reminded him he wasn't alone. His father had sent a 'watchdog' to keep an eye on him.

"You bothered about a drink while I'm at it?"

For once he didn't mind the company.

"No." Rufus called back, returning his gaze to the window. He couldn't help but wonder if he would be better off not being here. If rumours about the lifestream were true, he couldn't help but think it would be a damn sight better being there than being alive.

He was knocked out of his thoughts by a glass of water hanging in front of his face. Rufus glanced past the glass to see Reno staring at him. The red head shrugged.

"Figured I'd bring you one anyway. Knowing you, I'd sit down and then you'd ask for one." 

Rufus smiled a little at the comment, knowing full well he'd been trying his hardest to piss the Turk off over the last few days, making him do something just as he sat down. Rufus had to admit it had given him something to do for a change.

"You've been around me for two days, and you think you know me already?" He asked.

"I've been around you enough to notice all the annoying habits you have." Reno told him, sipping on the glass of whiskey he had in his hand. Rufus raised an eyebrow.

"Like what?"

"Like asking for things when I've just sat down or........" Reno paused noticing the blonde staring out the window. He smirked. ".... Or the way you stare out of the window like that when you don't give a toss about what I'm saying."

Rufus laughed lightly. He had to admit, Reno had a way of cheering people up without trying, without you really noticing what he's was trying to do.

"Does anyone give a toss about what you say?" Rufus decided to play this little game of Reno's. The red head feigned a hurt look.

"Are you telling me no one listens to me? Me? The great Reno?" They both laughed.

"Great? That makes you sound like a magician or something." Rufus commented.

"Ah, but I can do magic tricks." Reno put his hand behind the other man's ear, lingering a bit longer than was necessary. He shook his head a little and pulled his hand back showing Rufus the one gil coin he now had in his palm. "See?"

"That's the lamest trick I've ever seen." The Vice President mumbled.

"Well, if I knew you wanted a magic show I would have brought all my tricks." Reno said, smugly sitting back in the chair. 

"What? Including a white rabbit in a hat?" Reno laughed at the blonde man's response.

"Yes, even a white rabbit in a hat, though I forgot to give the rabbit some water before I left my flat like three days ago. Think it might have keeled over by now." They both laughed lightly again.

"Poor bunny rabbit didn't even have a chance living with you." Rufus said. Reno put a hand to his heart in mockery.

"Are you saying I don't know how to look after anything?" He clicked his fingers. "Damn I forgot to feed the dove before I left too......." Reno watched the amused look from Rufus' face.

The door to the apartment opened slightly. Reno dumped the rest of the contents of his glass into a nearby pot plant. Rufus nearly laughed until he saw who had entered the room. A man in a red suit was stood in the door way. Reno turned round in his chair as well. He scowled a little. 

_Gesh. It's been three days and this is the first time he's come to see him. No wonder Rufus is like he is._

"Turk. Leave us be for a while." The voice demanded. Reno took a quick look at Rufus before jumping out of the chair. Not saying a word as he left the room, shutting the door behind him. Rufus found himself staring at the white painted door for what seemed like hours before his father spoke. "What do you think you're playing at!?" He bellowed.

Rufus wanted to laugh but didn't. _Playing at? Is that what he thinks this all is? A game?_ "Nothing." Is what he actually said.

"Nothing!? You call trying to kill yourself nothing!?" The older man began pacing around the room.

_Stop trying to act as if you care, because you don't. It's all about your measly company._ "As if you actually care." Rufus muttered lightly, so lightly his father never caught it.

"Well?" The old man pressed on. Rufus couldn't resist throwing a taunt at the older man any longer.

"Why do you think one tries to kill himself old man?" He said, staring at the glass of water he was still holding. His father stopped pacing and stared at his son for a moment. His face etched with fury.

There was the sound of a glass smashing. The sound of flesh hitting flesh. Rufus refused to rub his burning cheek. He also refused to look at the man standing over him.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that boy!" The older man roared. Rufus ignored him. This time President Shinra balled his hand hit a fist and hurled it at Rufus. The blow hit the boy in the chin. Without him resisting it much, it had enough force to make him fall of the window seat. By mistake, he used his injured wrist to break his fall. As he hit the floor he winced a little. "And don't you dare ignore me when I'm talking to you!" The man bellowed again.

Rufus felt the familiar wetness on his lip. Bringing a finger up to his face, he winced as he pressed his lip slightly. He looked at his finger tip as it came away with what he expected to see on it; blood. Rufus pulled himself up so he was sat on his heels, still looking at the floor. Before he knew it, a foot was planted in his exposed stomach forcing all the air out of his lungs. Rufus hunched over slightly, trying to regain his breath.

"And all I have is you to call an heir." The President laughed bitterly. "I think a rat would make a better heir than you **son.**" He spat out the last word before using his stick to whack Rufus round the back of the head. The sound it made echoed around the room. The force of it pushed Rufus forward so he used his hands to stop himself falling flat on his face. He winced again as pain shot up his left arm.

"I think I'd rather be a rat than your heir." Rufus muttered lightly. He was rewarded with a foot kicking him in the face. His head flipped up, giving his body the momentum to make him sit on his heals again. He felt something trickle from his nose. Using his sleeve, he dabbed his nose it. The dot of red slowly soaked into the white fabric of his jacket.

"Why don't you leave then if you feel that way!? I'll tell you why. No one will take you in because they feel exactly the same as I do about you. No one cares for spoilt brats like you!?" The President yelled. He used the end of his stick to whack the younger man round the back of the head. The stick cracked against the blonde's head and he slumped to the floor. "Not worth my god damn time." The President muttered as he left the room, leaving Rufus battered on the apartment floor.

* * * * * * * * *

_"You're not worth my god damn time brat!"_

_"Why do you hate me!?" The nine year old Rufus yelled at his father. "What have I ever done to you!?"_

_"You're a god damn spoilt brat who will amount to nothing in this world!" He leaned right in front of the boy's face. "And that is why I hate you so much." He spat with venom._

_"I'm not spoilt!" Rufus screamed. His head jerked back from the slap he was given. The boy clutched his face, wincing in pain. _

_"Don't speak back to me brat!"_

_"What have I ever done to you!?" Rufus yelled again. He got another crack round the face as a response. _

_"Nothing boy. And that's the problem."_

_"How can you hate me for nothing?" Rufus' voice was now a whisper. The President grabbed hold of the boy's shirt and threw him against the wall. The boy shook his foggy head as he looked as his father._

_"I own the world. I can do anything." The man said with a deadly voice._

_"I hate you!" The boy screamed. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" The man drew his fist back and slammed it against the boys stomach. Rufus clutched it in pain. _

_"That makes two of us then doesn't it?"_

**"Rufus!"**

_"I............ hate......... you." Rufus wheezed out._

**"Rufus!"**

_"I loath you boy." President Shinra spoke from within two inches of Rufus' face._

**"RUFUS!"**

Rufus flicked one eye open slightly to try and look at the person who was shouting him. He groaned lightly.

"Shit. What the hell does he think he's doing?" Rufus heard the person mutter. He tried opening his eyes wider but regretted it. He drew his good arm up to shield his eyes from the sunlight coming throw his window. "Rufus? You're gonna have to wake up. I can't move you unless you do." The voice asked. Rufus groaned again and lifted his arm slightly, with it his eyes lids.

"Reno?" He asked groggily.

"Yeah. You gonna sit up for me?" Reno asked. The blonde nodded slightly then used his good arm to push himself off the floor. He started to push himself up slowly. When pain shot through his ribs, he yelped and closed his eyes tight, nearly falling back to the floor. Reno caught him by wrapping his arms around his mid back. Rufus noticed that he wasn't going to hit the floor so cracked one eye open again. "You ok?" The red head asked. Rufus seemed to be the only one who noticed how close they were. He blushed slightly.

"Yeah." He murmured. Reno pulled one of Rufus' arms over his shoulders and looked at him. 

"Try pushing yourself up after three ok?" Reno told him. Rufus' blush returned in full force.

"Ok." He muttered.

"One........ Two........... Three!" Reno pulled himself upright, dragging the blonde with him. Rufus, being a couple of inches shorter than the red head, felt like his arm was about five foot over his head. He tried to stand on his tip toes to even it out, but ended up nearly falling over again. He yelped. Reno steadied him with his free arm. It ended up being wrapped around the blonde's chest. Even Reno noticed how close they were this time. He shook of the weird feeling he felt and took his arm back. He looked at the faintly red faced blonde, pretending not to notice the fact that he was blushing. "You can make it to your room with my help right?"

"Yeah." Rufus muttered.

They made it to Rufus' bedroom with little problem. Reno eased the blonde onto the bed lightly then unhooked Rufus' arm from around his shoulders. He step back a little and looked at the blonde. Around Rufus' mouth was caked in dry blood, which seemed to have stopped bleeding altogether. Reno noticed from the way the blonde was sitting, he'd have a few bruises in the morning.

"Be back in a minute." With that he left the room. Rufus found himself staring at the red head as he walked away, turning a corner leaving his eyesight completely. When he was satisfied he had left, the blonde ran a hand through his hair.

_Why can't I stop thinking about him?_ "I hurt like hell and all I can think about is him." He murmured as he hear footsteps journeying back to the room. 

Reno entered the room again, a glass bowl with a white cloth in it held in one hand. He placed the bowl on the floor and kneeled down in front of the Vice President. The red head wrung the cloth and started dabbing it on Rufus' face. The blonde winced slightly at the first touch, but calmed after that. He just stared into the Turks sea green eyes. Reno didn't notice for a while, he just carried on dabbing the blonde's cuts. 

"Why do you let him do this to you?" Reno asked, both of them knowing who Reno meant by 'he'. 

"It hurts less if I don't fight back." Rufus' mumbled. Reno stopped dabbing and looked at the blonde for a moment.

_Now everything makes sense.........._ Reno told himself._ There's only so much one person can take. _He dipped the cloth in the now murky pink water and wrung it out again. As he looked back at Rufus he noticed him looking at him intently.

"What?" Reno asked, a little puzzled as to why the blonde would be staring at him.

"Nothing." Rufus told him. "Just noticed how pretty your eyes are." He murmured. His eyes widened. _Did I just say that out loud!?_

"You......... you think my eyes are pretty?" Reno asked, the beginnings of a smirk creeping onto his face.

"Forget I said anything." Rufus said.

"Seriously? You like my eyes?" Reno asked again. He lifted the cloth to dab the blonde's face yet again, but Rufus pulled away slightly. Reno frowned. "Sorry. I didn't meant to make you uncomfortable." His voice held a hint of remorse.

"You didn't." Rufus told him, his voice in his normal tone. "I made myself uncomfortable." He glanced at the Turk again. "I'd like to sleep now." He asked quietly.

"Err... yeah...... sure." Reno stuttered out. He picked up the bowl and pushed himself up from his knees. "You sure you're alright?"

"I'll live." Rufus laid down on the bed without bothering to get under the covers. Reno took another look at him from the doorway before shutting it lightly. Outside he leaned back on the door, banging the back of his head against the wood a few times, before pushing himself off and walking down the small hallway.

_Good one Reno, you pick the worse times to be a prick._ Reno shook his head as he watched the pink water swirl down the drain of the kitchen sink.

* * * * * * * * *


	3. Chapter 3

** Gomen Nasai**

* * *

Chapter Three

_Everybody's looking for that something  
One thing that makes it all complete  
You'll find it in the strangest places  
Places you never knew it could be_

It was pitch black when Reno woke up. One of his legs was hanging off the sofa he had chosen to spend the night on. The blanket was twisted around his body. He realised with slight amusement that he was still fully clothed, jacket and all. It was creased to hell, but Reno figured his suit always looked like that anyway.

He managed to untwist himself from the light blue fleecy blanket, dumping it lightly back on the couch. He swung his other leg off the sofa to touch the floor. He pushed himself up, running a hand over his face as he yawned. As the yawn finished, his face turned into a scowl, thinking about the previous days events. He stood up, walking slowly towards the kitchen. 

_How can anyone let themselves but subjected to........ to **that** and not stick up for themselves._

The urge to just grab a gun and shoot Sebastian Shinra straight through the middle of his forehead was rising. Reno couldn't believe he even had a tiny bit of respect for the man before this.

_Respect that's now shot to hell._

Reno found an empty glass lying on the draining board near the skin. He filled it with cold water from the sink tap and took a long gulp of the cool liquid. He filled it back up to the top again before walking back to the couch.

_How can anyone want to beat their own flesh and blood for no reason?_ Was one of the millions of questions running through the redhead's mind. _Surely he's done nothing to deserve it?_ Reno frowned some more. Somehow he knew there was a lot more behind this than he could ever comprehend. He took another sip of the refreshing liquid before placing the glass on coffee table. Reno laid back down on the couch, his legs hanging over the end. He swung them slightly.

"Not getting too relaxed on the job are we Reno?" The voice would have surprised Reno, if he hadn't already realised the other man's presence.

"Relaxed? Never heard of the word." Reno replied taking the glass from the table. He though about drinking while still laid down, but thought better of it and pushed himself up. He looked over the top of the sofa to look Tseng in the face. "What you here for anyway? I suppose this isn't a social call?" 

"When is it ever a social call?" Tseng asked sitting down in a chair opposite the younger man. They both fell into an unease silence. Reno knew he just had to ask the other man just one question.

"Did you know Shinra actually beats him?" He asked almost casually, sipping the glass of water.

There was another unease silence. Reno turned his gaze slowly to look at his superior. His eyes narrowed.

"You knew?" He whispered in astonishment. It was a long time before the silence was broken again.

"I had an idea." Tseng said lightly. He never looked away from Reno the entire time.

"And you did nothing about it?" The red head asked dubiously.

"Come off it Reno. What was I meant to do? It's Shinra's business what he does to his son, not mine." Tseng stared at the other Turk for a while. "Reno, if you're getting feelings for him I can pull you off this job....." Reno stood up sharply.

"Oh god forbid, a Turk's getting feelings for someone." The red head spat harshly.

"Reno..." The older Turk warned.

"Don't Reno me, Tseng!" Reno's voice rose slightly. Remembering the sleep blonde in the other room, he quieten again. "Look, it's up to me how I want to screw up my life ok, not you." The older Turk contemplated the red head for a long time.

"Just don't do anything impetuous alright? I don't want to have to recruit another Turk." Tseng stood up from the chair and silently walked towards the white painted doors.

"Is that a threat?" Reno asked cautiously.

"No Reno. It's what Shinra will do to you if he finds out." Tseng said wearily, then left the room.

Reno found himself gazing at the door for a long time after the Turk leader left. _Never give anyone the full story do you Tseng? You make it sound like someone's tried to stop Shinra before................._ Reno left that thought dangling as he prying himself from the comfortable sofa. 

He pushed the door to Rufus' bedroom open slowly. Reno leaned against the door frame looking over the sleeping blonde. He had heard stories from many people, about how cold the President's son was. Reno wondered how the hell someone who had been nothing but pleasant to him could be callous at all. If stories about Rufus were true, Reno couldn't help but wonder why he was being _nice_ to _him_ of all people.

Reno shook his head lightly while he glanced over the other man. Rufus looked strangely at peace while he was asleep. The moonlight shining through the window reflected off Rufus' face, giving him an unnatural white glow. Reno watched as Rufus smiled slightly in his sleep, before mumbled something under his breath and moving just slightly.

Reno found himself smiling. He found himself going over lines in his head from what he had told Tseng earlier. _Oh god forbid, a Turk's getting feelings for someone. _Reno took to cleaning under his fingernail with his teeth. _Am I?_ He inspected the clean nail. _Am I?_ His mind asked again. _Would it be so bad if I was?_

He walked silently over to the bed side. Rufus had turned from being on his side facing the window, to being on his back. _Would it really be so bad?_ Reno asked himself yet again. His hand brushed a lock of blonde hair away from Rufus' face. His hand froze.

Rufus' blue eyes were staring right back at him.

Neither of them said anything for a good long while. The uneasy silence wasn't broken by sound however, but by Rufus smiling. Reno visibly relaxed slightly. He began to draw his hand away, but Rufus latched onto it. 

The blonde had his thin fingers around the Turk's wrist. He loosen his grip a little, moving his hand lightly from Reno's wrist to the tip of his index finger. Rufus then pulled Reno's finger closer to himself, pressing it against his lips. Surprise etched Reno face for a fraction of a second, before relaxing again, relaxing more than before.

"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if......." Rufus trailed off, looking intently at Reno's hand. Reno couldn't help but notice the uncertainty in his voice.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to." Reno muttered, wondering where on earth that sentence came from. He wasn't the kind of person that normally cared about someone else's feelings when it came to stuff like this. Why was this time any different?

"But I want to do this." Rufus grabbed hold of the Turk's shirt pulling him towards him. He leaned forward slightly to meet the other man. The two's lips met, the kiss sweet and tender at first. Reno couldn't remember the last time he had received a kiss so sweet, so caring, so _ loving._

The two of them pulled away from each other slightly. Rufus still had hold of Reno's shirt, but was now holding it as if he was holding on for dear life. Rufus realised this and let off his grip, his hand dropping to rest on the mattress he was laid on.

"You have no objection if I do that again, do you?" Rufus asked quite suddenly. Reno grinned.

"Hell no."

Rufus didn't give Reno a chance to change his mind.

* * * * * * * * *

_You'll find it in the deepest friendship  
The kind you cherish all your life  
And when you know how much that means  
You've found that special thing  
You're flying without wings_

"The construction of Sector Six is going as planned. We......."

A week had passed by since that night in Rufus' apartment. The Vice President had managed to tune out the voices that were flying around the Board Room. He tapped his pen lightly on the piece of blank paper that was laid on the table in front of him, the ghosts of a smile on his face.

He hadn't been this happy since........ well he'd never been this happy. For the first time in Rufus Shinra's life, he didn't feel alone anymore. That reason alone was enough to make the blonde feel contented.

Rufus had never had a close friendship with anyone. His father telling him _"Friends are for the weak. All you need in this world is power and money."_ Rufus would have shaken his head if he was alone. _What a sad life you must lead_ Rufus thought as he glanced over the red suited man sat at the head of the table. _I'd actually feel sorry for him if I didn't despise him so much in the first place._

"We've also managed to acquire Don Coreno, who at the moment is residing in Sector Three, to be Shinra's Informant for the new sector. Coreno is.........."

Rufus took to drawing a little sketch of a man in a suit, with an axe sticking out his head, at the corner of the piece of paper. He finished it off by drawing a little sketch of himself next to it, laughing. He grinned at it for a moment.

"Something you'd like to share with us Rufus?" Came a voice that made Rufus look up. The whole table was staring at him. Rufus coughed lightly.

"Nothing Sir, nothing at all." He answered smugly. The President looked at him dubiously at first, then took his gaze off Rufus, directing it at the rest of the table.

"Where were we....... Ah yes the construction of the Sector Six Reactor........."

Rufus smiled again, adding a speech bubble above the sketch of himself saying 'Muhahahahahahahaha'. Satisfied with the drawing, he began to tap with his pen again. He was surprised that not even a boring Board meeting such as today's was dampening his good mood.

"That concludes our meeting." _The golden words_ Rufus thought as the President voice rang out round the room. The man soon left, the other Executives leaving soon after. Rufus found himself still sat down when the room had emptied. He pushed the chair back slightly and hauled his feet onto the table.

He was so completely lost in his thoughts he didn't hear the Turk enter the room. 

Reno smirked as he saw the blonde laid back in his chair, eyes closed. He silently walked up to Rufus, standing right beside him. He bent down and leaned so he was inches away from the Vice President's ear.

"Hope you're thinking about me?" He whispered. Reno nearly laughed as the blonde jumped practically half a mile. His chair began to tip back, but Reno caught it as it did. Rufus scowled at the other man for a few seconds, before his gaze soften.

"Nope." He said cheerfully. "I was thinking about a Tuna sandwich I ate for lunch."

"Aw now Sir. You know that isn't allowed." Reno whined as he sat on the table top. The little drawing from earlier caught the redhead's eye. He sniggered. "Nice artist talent you've got there Rufus." 

Rufus smiled.

"I'm glad you think so. I have a tremendous amount of fun drawing it while the meeting was going on." His smiled changed to a grin. "I could have sworn I saw the cogs working in my father's head as he was trying to work out why I was in such a good mood."

"Tell me. Why are you in such a good mood?" Reno said smugly, resting his hand behind him. Rufus stood up from the chair. 

"Why don't I just show you." With one little push, Rufus had made Reno lay on the table top. The redhead smiling ever so slightly. Rufus sat himself so he was straggling the Turk's waist. He traced his finger along the part of Reno's skin that wasn't covered by his shirt. "You know, I knew there was a reason you never wore a tie." Rufus commented absently.

"They just get in the way." Reno's breath hitched ever so vaguely. Rufus still heard it and smiled. He unfastened a further two buttons, before deciding it was taking to long and engaged the Turk in a passionate kiss.

Reno's eyes widened slightly at the suddenness of the kiss, but soon relaxed. He moaned slightly as the kiss carried on, none of them wanting to break it.

Eventually Rufus broke it, both of the men gasping for breath. Reno smirked.

"Wow. Never excepted something like that from you." He commented. Rufus smiled again. 

"I've barely even started yet."

Rufus leaned down and started yet another kiss, this was as equally passionate if not more so than the one before. Reno reached up, tangling his hand in the Vice President's blonde hair. His hand dropped down to Rufus' shoulder. His other hand reached up to grabbed the opposite shoulder. In one swift movement, Rufus found himself to be the one laid on the table top. The kiss wasn't broken the entire time. Finally Reno pulled away. Rufus whined in protest.

"Hmm." Reno murmured in thought. "Don't like to be the one not in charge do ya?" The redhead smirked. Rufus ignored the comment, unfastening the rest of Reno's shirt. 

"What was that?" The blonde asked, a knowing smile on his face. Reno shook his head, still smirking.

"You just can't keep your hands off me, can you?" 

"Are you complaining?" Rufus asked teasing.

"Me? Of course not." 

Rufus pulled Reno down for another kiss. This one hard and abrupt. Despite it's shortness, it didn't stop either of them from moaning at the sensation the kiss gave them. Rufus pushed the Turk off him and sat up. He leaned in and touched Reno's lips ever so slightly, pushing him against the wall. He started to pull at the neck of Reno's shirt, gentling pulling it off the shoulder. Reno broke the kiss sharply.

"As much as I want you right now." He said huskily into the blonde's ear. "I don't think here's the right place to do it." 

Rufus blinked. His groggy mind taking in where he still actually was. He began to laughing lightly. 

"See? This is what you do to me, you sloppy Turk you."

"Sloppy? Me? I think You've got the wrong person." Both of them laughed together. 

Rufus bit his lip softly, before looking Reno back in the eye. 

"I suppose we can continue this later then?" He asked huskily.

"You won't here me complaining." Reno told him as he began button his shirt again. He gave the blonde one more passionate kiss, before walking towards the door. He looked back at the Vice President. "Later." Then he was gone.

Rufus smiled to himself, touching his lips with his index finger.

"Later." He whispered to an empty room. 

_I'm flying without wings  
And that's the joy you bring  
I'm flying without wings_

* * * * * * * * *

_I don't own Flying without Wings, by Westlife. I just really like the song ^_^_


	4. Chapter 4

** Gomen Nasai**

* * *

Chapter Four

_Life can be similar to the weather. One minute it's nothing but clear blue skies, the next it could be a thunder storm. Or even worse it could be a hurricane. Life's never simple. It never goes the way you want it to. There's one slight difference between the two though. You can't change the weather._

* * * * * * * * *

"You know, there's nothing more pleasing than scaring the fuck out of Coreno." Reno waved in the direction the said man was sat. A look of terror crossed Coreno's face before he turned away. Reno burst out laughing.

"You wanna stop doing that Re? I already get enough shit off him 'coz of you." Said the man next to the Turk.

Reno patted the other man roughly on the shoulder a few times.

"What's up Lorne? My bro scared of the fat bastard?" He asked mockingly

Lorne downed the full glass of rum he had in his glass and slammed it back down on the bar top.

"No Reno I'm not. I just kinda need this job ok?"

Reno looked over his older brother for a few seconds.

"Alright. I'll stop the shit scaring." Reno looked over at Coreno's crowd again. He took a leisurely drink of his brandy, before nodding his head towards one of men sat near Coreno. "Can I pick on Kotch instead?"

"Sure, pick on Kotch all you want. No one likes the bastard anyway." Both of them laughed.

Lorne was probably a few inches taller than Reno. He had the same blood red hair, but Lorne's was a lot shorter and slightly spiky on the top. He was two years older than his brother, making him twenty-one. 

"So where's you know who?" Lorne asked, running a hand through his hair.

Reno knew exactly who 'you know who' was, but he decided to play dumb.

"Who Rude?" He smirked.

Lorne gave his brother a knowing look.

"I know you know who I mean Re, stop playing dumb." He told Reno in a sing song voice.

"I was gonna bring him, but his old man wanted to talk to him."

"God Re. One of the only long term relationships you've ever had and I've never seen the guy. I mean, I've knew more about the hookers you used to get." He laughed lightly.

"Used to being the key word in that sentence." Reno mumbled. "Anyway what's to know about him. I'd say you know him pretty well anyway."

"I only know what Shinra wants people to know about him. I don't know him as a person Re." Lorne grabbed the jacket he had placed on the barstool next to him and stood up. Reno quickly finished his drink and followed.

They'd been in a bar in the Sector Three slums that night. Sector Three was one of the better areas underneath the plate. Most the people that lived there worked for the Don, simply because there nothing else to do. Sector Three was home to a place called the Satina. 

To put it simply, the Satina was a tasteful whorehouse, though whorehouses can't really be called tasteful as such. It was one of the better places under the plate. The first _business_ Coreno ever opened. The only one he had so far, but that was going to change soon enough. When Sector Six was complete, which would be in the next six months or so, Coreno was to open another brothel. The Honey Bee Inn, exclusively for the people 'above' the pizza. He was leaving the Satina in the hands of a man called Dacian. Coreno was leaving Sector Three altogether. 

Word was going around Sector three, that Coreno was becoming an Informant for Shinra. It was true, but it was just one of the many rumours floating around so no one quite believed it as of yet. Reno couldn't see why they wanted an incompetent prick like Coreno to be an informant, but of course Reno had no say in the matter.

"So how long u being seeing him anyway?" Lorne asked as the two men walked through slums towards Lorne's apartment.

"I dunno....... A year maybe, lost count ages ago." Reno muttered. Lorne just laughed.

"You don't have to act like an hard nut round me ya know?" He gave his brother another knowing look.

"A year and a bit." The younger redhead muttered. "Look I don't wanna talk about it." 

Lorne walked in front of his younger brother to make him stop walking. He put his hands on Reno's shoulders.

"What's up Re?" Lorne asked questioningly.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Reno pushed Lorne's hands off him and started walking again. "And I can't talk about it. It's not my business to talk about."

"Re, if it's bothering you of course it's your business." Lorne stated as a matter of factually.

Reno sighed. Why was Lorne always right? He stopped walking and turned back around to see his brother stood where he left him.

"I'd still rather not talk about it, it's not my story to tell." The Turk admitted.

"So it's about Rufus then?" Lorne asked, jogging up to meet the pace of the other man.

"God damn it Lor. I'm not telling you man." Reno snapped a little.

"C'mon just tell me. Who am I gonna tell really? C'mon man, I respect your privacy, but I'm just looking out for ya."

Reno went quiet for a while. The two men carried on walking, Lorne knew better than to break this kind of silence.

"His old man beats him up." Reno said quietly. "And he doesn't do anything about it, because he doesn't know any better. His old man has always done that to him. And I hate leaving him with the bastard, but he told me he'd be ok, but I'm not so sure." 

"What are you doing here with me if you're so worried about it?" Lorne asked.

Reno ran a hand through his hair.

"He basically told me to fuck off, because I told him I was meeting you for a drink and he told me that he shouldn't come between that."

"Fuck what he says Re, just go and see if he's ok." He shoved Reno roughly in the direction of the Shinra building. Reno never said anything in return, he just ran off in the direction he was shoved, swerving in and out of the people walking in the streets. "Thanks Lorne, your the best bro ever. Don't need to thank me Reno, really." Lorne muttered as his brother disappeared up the road that led to the plate.

* * * * * * * * *

Rufus sat finishing off the paper work his old man had given him earlier that day. A few signatures was all it needed, but it meant reading through every sheet of the twenty page report. The blonde dropped the pen onto the desk and rubbed his tired eyes. His eyes travelled to the clock hung on the wall. 

Nine PM. 

Time to visit the old man. 

Rufus didn't partially want to go see his father, but he did anyway. Part of him wanted to know exactly what he wanted. He never called Rufus up to his office very often. In fact, Rufus could count the number of times he had been in the Presidential office on one hand.

Reno didn't want Rufus to go on his own. Frankly Rufus had wanted him to come as well, but didn't want to stop the Turk from seeing his brother. Rufus had to practically shove Reno out the door and tell him to fuck off out. Rufus smiled slightly. It was nice having someone care about you that much. He had gotten used to it over the last year. 

That was something Rufus couldn't believe. It had been a year since he started seeing Reno as more than a friend. He didn't think he'd change the last year for anything. 

Rufus walked at the red carpeted stairs and into the office itself. Rufus always seemed to forget that his father's office didn't even have a door

"Ah Rufus. There you are boy." The friendly tone of his father's voice made Rufus a little apprehensive. The younger blonde walked slowly to stand in front the red suited man's huge desk. President Shinra put down the pen he was holding and stood up, walking around to stand in front of his son.

"You wanted to see me Sir?" Rufus asked, a little tint of bitterness hidden in the tone of his voice.

"Yes boy I did." The man paced around in front of his son, clasping his hands together over and over again. Rufus just looked on. "After some considerable thinking, I've decided that someone is needed in Junon to watch operations over in the town. With the new dispatch of SOLDIERS heading there tomorrow morning, Junon is going to be quiet the military town. It looks as though General Stewart will be needing help with the administrative side of things." Shinra stopped pacing for a moment. "This will be invaluable practice for you son, for when you take over from me some day. I've informed Stewart that you'll be accompanying him to Junon."

Rufus felt like his stomach was falling down in a bottomless pit. Leave Midgar? He didn't want to leave Midgar. If his father would have given him the option a year ago, Rufus would have taken it no problem. But now? Rufus watched as his father waited for a response. Rufus said the only two words he knew he could say.

"Yes Sir."

* * * * * * * * *

Reno found Rufus sat lifelessly in his chair. The blonde was fiddling about with a pen in his right hand, tapping it on the table top. He was staring at something that wasn't there, his eyes never blinking the whole time Reno was looking.

"Rufus?" Reno said cautiously. "You ok?" Rufus finally blinked looking slowly at the Turk stood in his doorway. 

"Reno. I didn't see you there." He said monotony. 

"I've been stood here five minutes. What's a matter?" Reno took a few steps into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Nothing."

"Don't give me that shit Rufus. There's something up. What did he do?" Reno's voice was starting to rise as he got more irritated.

"He didn't fucking do anything Reno." Rufus snarled, still tapping his pen.

"You know? I came back early to make sure you were ok. I'm beginning to regret it now." Reno walked closer to the desk, leaning on it with his hands. "You haven't been this closed off in ages."

"What do you care anyway!?" Rufus spat, throwing the pen on the desk. He crossed one knee over the other, and started rocking his leg to and throw slowly.

Reno genuinely felt hurt by the comment, something he never thought would happen. He pushed himself off the desk and went to stand in front of the blonde's chair.

"You think I don't care?"

A look of guilt flashed over the blonde's face. His eyes then soften.

"I know you do." Rufus sighed and stood up, looking out the huge window. "I'm getting sent to Junon. I have no idea when I'll be back." He said after an uncomfortable silence. Rufus turned to look at the Turk again. "I thought if I pushed you away, it wouldn't bother me as much, but...." He trailed off. Reno took a step back.

"You really are a spoilt brat aren't you!?" Reno spat as he turned towards the door. Rufus was lost for words, he just watched the redhead walk away from him. Reno turned around when he reached the door. "Fuck off to Junon. See if I care." The door slammed shut.

Rufus blinked a couple of times after the door had closed. His mind trying to comprehend exactly where he went wrong. He soon figured it out. With that, he slammed his forehead a little too hard on his desk top.

"Fuck." He muttered.

* * * * * * * * *

Reno was slumped in a chair in the Turks lounge, a bottle of brandy hanging from one hand. He brought the bottle to his lips, taking a sip of the bitter liquid. The bottle was already three quarters of the way empty.

"One man went to mow. Went to mow a meadow." He sung quietly in a monotone voice. He took another sip from the bottle. "One man and his dog, Spot and a bottle of pop, went to mow a meadow." With one last gulp, he emptied the bottle. He shook it a little, making sure ever last drop had been drained from the glass. Dissatisfied with the fact that he had no more alcohol, he threw the bottle against the door.

Reno went to stand up, but did so too fast. The combination of the head rush he got and the alcohol in his system made him fall back down again. Immediately finding the moment humourous, Reno started laughing. His laughter stopped when the door to the room opened.

Rude stepped into the room, his feet crunching on the shattered glass bottle. He looked at the floor, then at the redhead.

"Hey Rude. Care to join me for a drink?" Reno slurred.

"By the sounds of it, you've already had one or twenty." Rude muttered, stepping over the smashed glass. He noticed that the bottle was one he had brought in that morning. "How long have you been here?" He asked, sitting in the chair opposite Reno.

"Erm................... I dunno. What time is it?"

"Nearly eleven thirty."

Reno thought about it for a moment. "'bout an hour 'n a half then."

"You've drank a whole one and a half litre bottle in an hour 'n a half?" Rude asked, lowering his sunglasses a little.

"Yep." Reno said cheerily, he then started giggling. "Did you know Rufus is a spoilt brat?" He giggled again. "Don't go telling him though." He whispered harshly.

Rude had a feeling it was something to do with Rufus. He was one of the two people that knew about the two of them. The other being Lorne.

"So what did he do?" Rude asked, leaning against the back of his chair. Reno always did talk best when he was pissed out of his head.

"He fucking off to Junon coz shit head is sending him." Reno tired to take a drink of the bottle that wasn't there. His alcohol induced mind figured it out after a few minutes. He let his hand drop back down.

"So why is he a spoilt brat?" Rude asked, taking off his sunglasses to clean then lenses. His one green eye, one blue eye studied Reno silently.

"'coz he tried telling me to fuck off so it didn't hurt him as much as it was doing." Reno muttered.

"And that's why he's a spoilt brat?" Rude put his sunglasses back on.

".......yeah." The redhead said after a few minutes.

"If you say so."

Reno snapped up.

"What's that 'posed to mean?"

"Work it out yourself Reno." Rude left the room, crunching again on the glass as he left.

Even Reno's alcohol induced mind could work out what Rude meant. The Turk dropped his head into his hands.

"Fuck." He muttered.

* * * * * * * * *

The next morning, Rufus left for Junon. He never saw the Turk that was watching the helicopter leave from his office window. Rufus never noticed the sorry look of Reno's face. And Reno never noticed the blonde's.

* * * * * * * * *

_*waits for the lynch squad* Don't hurt me! Needed more angst. I'm sorry!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Gomen Nasai**

* * *

Chapter Five

It was raining.

Dreary clouds covered the skies above Midgar like always. Smog from the reactors gave the almost black clouds a tint of green. By no means a pretty sight, but Reno found himself unable to look at anything else.

The office window was slick with water, dripping slowly down the smooth glass, each and every drop in a race to see who could reach the bottom of the window pane first. Reno watched as the rain dripped down the glass. _Why does it always rain when I feel shitty?_

A endless pile of paper work had made it's way onto his already messy desk. Reno was hoping, while he was staring out the window, the paperwork would have somehow disappeared. Of course it hadn't. Reno picked up a blue pen, carelessly grabbing a blank mission report. 

_Mission Number 5467889............................ Mission objective........... _

"To see how much of a shit head Reno can be." The redhead muttered, while writing in appropriate details. 

_Name of Delinquent.................... _"Reno, 'the bastard', wanker."

_Delinquent's crime.................. _"Not knowing a good thing till it's gone..............."

_Other notes.................._ "Reno is a total utter complete bastard and doesn't deserve to be allow to............... love anyone................" Reno trailed off and threw the pen onto the desk. The ballpoint bounced off the desk and fell to the floor, rolling until it stopped besides someone's feet. "Whaddoya want Tseng?" Reno asked gruffly, singling for the other Turk to give him back the pen. Tseng dropped the pen onto the desk. He stayed silent, just glancing at the redheaded Turk. Reno looked up at his superior. "Shit, don't look at me like like. Just tell me what you were here to tell me then fuck off."

"I'll let the comment slide just because you're in a bad mood." Tseng said shortly.

"No shit." Reno casually closed his lips around the tip of a cigarette, lighting with the gas lighter he had pulled out of his desk drawer. "So?" He asked. his voice a little muffled.

"Just informing you that President Shinra is going to Junon tomorrow for a few days."

Reno took a quick look at Tseng, before moving his gaze to the floor beside his chair.

"And you're telling me this why?" Reno asked in a low voice. 

Tseng looked slightly amused at the answer. _So I was right.........._

"No reason." By the way Reno looked back up at the Turk leader, Tseng guessed that his amusement had crept into his voice.

"Rude told you?" The redhead asked disbelievingly. Tseng shook his head.

"No. It wasn't exactly hard to figure out Reno." Tseng sat on the edge of the other Turk's desk "You're also not going to Junon. I can't let you." Slight concern sneaked into his voice.

"That won't stop me and you know it." Reno muttered. Tseng smiled lightly.

"I meant what I said before, about doing anything rash."

"Actually you said impetuous." Reno stated. "And I can look after myself, don't need you watching over me like some kid."

"I know that Reno." There was silence as the Turk leader studied his co-worker. "Remember who Harding was?" He asked, moving from the desk to sit on the small couch.

"..........He was the Turk leader before you right?" Reno answered a few minutes later. Tseng nodded.

"Any idea why he died?" Tseng took Reno's silence has a 'no'. "On the record he was gunned down in a drive by. Really, he caught Shinra beating the hell out of Rufus and tried to stop him." The black haired man sighed. "He was shot by some Shinra blues. Shinra said it was a warning about what would happen if anyone told him how to raise his own son."

"Sadistic bastard like always then?" Reno said. Tseng didn't answer, he just got up and walked towards the door. 

"Just be careful, alright?" Tseng didn't give Reno a chance to reply before he left.

* * * * * * * * *

"I'm going to Junon don't tell Tseng bye." Reno rushed out all in one sentence. A half asleep Rude looked at him from behind his sunglasses. Reno guessed that the bald Turk's eyes were half shut.

"Wha?" Grunted Rude.

Reno poked his head back around the door frame of the Turks lounge. He repeated himself.

"I said, I'm going to Junon." Reno said it slower this time round. Rude's sleep hazed mind caught what the redhead had told him. It took him another few minutes to work out why. Reno was just about to make his escape when his friend spoke.

"You can't go on your own."

"Wha?" Reno asked puzzled.

"I know you're gonna go anyway." Rude stood up slowly, brushing a speck of dust off his suit. "Might as well come with you."

"Won't Tseng notice that neither of us are here?" Reno asked, still puzzled.

Rude patted the younger Turk's shoulder a couple of times.

"I think it's at the back of his mind that you'd go anyway. I think he can do without us both for a day."

"......Why?" Reno asked a while later.

"Why what?" 

"Why are you coming? I mean I have a reason, what about you?" The redheaded Turk asked dubiously.

"Because you're my friend, and I'd hate to see you hanging by you're testicles from the seventieth floor balcony." Rude commented as if it was an everyday thing.

Reno blinked at the other Turk for a few seconds before laughing like Rude had told the funniest joke of the century. Rude's face was still serious.

"Who says I'm joking?" He told the other man. Reno carried on laughing, clutching his stomach.

"I never said you were joking, but it's still funny as hell."

Rude cracked a grin, while shoving Reno out the door. 

* * * * * * * * *

Rufus sat absenting stroking the soft, dark fur of Dark Nation, a panther the Vice President had acquired as a 'guard dog' on his arrival in Junon. He never asked why exactly he would need the panther, but at least it gave him some company, maybe more so than a person would. Rufus listened as the huge cat began to purr in a low tone. He laughed a little. It was weird to see a full grown huge panther purr like a little house cat. Dark Nation somehow noticed his master's amusement, so purred even more. 

It had only been a few weeks since he moved to Junon. His job was exactly the same as what he did at the Shinra building, except he didn't have the constant interruptions from his father. 

His secretary, a curvy brunette who tried flirting with him every chance she got, had told him President Shinra was coming to Junon. He wondered if his father was coming to see how well he was doing his job, or he just missed beating the crap out of him that much he decided to go out of his way to fulfil his desires. He knew it was probably the latter.

Rufus actually enjoyed being in Junon, but one thing always plagued his mind.

Reno.

Rufus shook his head. He shouldn't have argued with the Turk before he left. He shouldn't have tried to push him away. He shouldn't have had any need to push him away, Junon wasn't that far from Midgar, he could have still seen Reno. So why did he start the argument in the first place? He knew Reno had every right to call him a spoilt brat. _I am one..............._ He thought.

"Mr Shinra Sir, President Shinra is here." Came the flirtatious voice of his secretary. Rufus let out one large sigh before he pressed the intercom button.

"Send him in." Rufus picked up a pen and started writing.

The big wooden double doors opened and in stepped President Shinra, dressed in his red suit as always. The plump man stood in the doorway for a few minutes, watching Rufus signing some paper work. The blonde looked up, silently wondering what his father was up to.

"Rufus." The president said, as if he was greeting any other of his employees. 

Rufus silently laughed, _that's all I am to him, an employee..._

"Sir."

"I've been hearing things about you." Shinra began. 

_Here we go._ Rufus tried his hardest not to look amused at his father, though he had no idea why he would be amused at the thought. Maybe at the thought that he guessed right why his father had turned up.

"Really?" The blonde asked. _Here comes the excuse to beat the crap of me, why bother? _

"General Stewart says you're a bit.... slow with the paper work he's been giving you. Is that true?" Shinra walked around the office, cigar hanging from his mouth. _If I'm lucky, maybe his cigar smoke can kill him off for me.........._

"I'm working as fast as I can sir. It's not my fault Stewart gives me an obscene amount of work to do in a day." Rufus tried hard not to say the sentence with too much venom in his voice. Not that it would make any difference. Shinra walked so he was stood beside Rufus' chair. 

Rufus spun his chair to face the man, knowing if he didn't his father would spin it around anyway. The President brought his hand down. It connected hard with Rufus' cheek. Rufus squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds before opening them slowly.

"I don't want you to try brat, I want you to succeed!" The plump man shouted. 

Rufus sat in silence, staring at the dark wooden floor beneath him. Something within him snapped at that moment. _ Why should I take his shit? I don't need to. I don't need him. I don't need his god damn company and I don't need his god damn money._ Rufus looked up slowly. His eyes held a hint of deadliness in them. Rufus was almost sure that his father took a double take for a minute. Rufus stood up sharply.

"I can't go no fucking faster old man!" Rufus yelled as loud as he could. "If I'm not god enough for you, just fucking replace me. I don't give a damn anymore!" Faster than Rufus could comprehend, he was backed up against a wall, a chubby hand around his neck. Dark Nation growled, but the President ignored it.

"Don't talk to me like that boy. Your mother is right, you're nothing but a spoilt little brat who knows nothing." The President wasn't shouting, he wasn't yelling, he wasn't even using his deadly tone. His voice held no emotion at all. Rufus found it almost as nerving as the hand around his neck.

"What would she know......." Rufus choked out. "She hasn't even seen me for at least five years." 

"Don't talk about your mother like that Rufus!" The shout had returned, the grip on the boy's neck tightened.

Rufus would have said something in return, but he found that he voice wouldn't work the way he wanted it to. He began to struggle for breath. He found himself staring at his father's stoic face, then felt himself start to go light headed. 

"Don't worry Rufus. No one will miss you." The President sneered. 

"You can't go in there!" Shouted a female voice from outside the office. Rufus only vaguely heard it.

The door burst open. Reno stood in the doorway, looking straight at the President

"Let go of the Vice President sir." Reno said loudly in a professional voice, one he rarely used. Shinra released his grip on Rufus to turn and look the Turk dead in the eye.

"Don't tell me what to do Turk! I'll have you shot!" Shinra thundered. Rufus looked up at Reno, a hand rubbing his bruised neck. The blonde had a grateful look on his face. Reno noticed this before turning his gaze back to the older Shinra.

"Don't get me wrong sir." Reno started. "But isn't it our duty to protect the Shinra family? Maybe it be from a terrorist group or from each other?" 

Shinra didn't reply, he just stared dumbly at the Turk. He watched as Rude appeared behind the redhead. The President took one look back at his son, before storming out the room, muttering something about how he wanted to shoot all Turks.

Reno slowly walked towards Rufus, who was still sat on the floor. He kneeled down next to him and smiled.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry." Rufus said softly. He looked to the floor, his hand still rubbing his neck. Reno lifted his hand to pushed up Rufus' chin, so the blonde was looking at him. he then moved it to caresses his cheek.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I should be the one that's sorry. You only did what you thought would hurt you less. I shouldn't have shouted at you." Reno said with affection in his voice. He saw Rufus' surprised look. "Don't get used to it. That's the one time I'm gonna apologise." Reno grinned. Rufus smiled lightly.

"I missed you. Next time I come out with some stupid plan, shoot me ok?" Rufus muttered.

"As you wish sir." Reno pressed his lips against the blonde's

"Get a room." Came the voice of the forgotten about Rude still stood in the doorway. He dodged the paper weight that came his way. Rufus and Reno just laughed.

* * * * * * * * *

_Not the end! Trust me the best bit is in the next chapter ^_^_


	6. Chapter 6

**Gomen Nasai**

* * *

Chapter Six

It had been just over a year since Reno had stopped Shinra from nearly murdering Rufus. Surprisingly, Shinra had let the matter slip, never said anything about it again. Even more surprising, he was actually pleasant to Reno. Didn't mean Reno had to like him though. He didn't show any respect for the man even, except when it came to taking work related orders.

Even though Reno never really questioned his orders, didn't mean he had to like them.

The Turk was stood looking out the window, at the wreck that was Sector Seven. Smoke still rose from the twisted metal remains. The whole of a sector destroyed just to eliminate one little terrorist group. A terrorist group that had destroyed two of Midgar's eight reactor within days of each other. _Still_, Reno thought, _destroying a whole sector was pretty extreme_.

He watched as it began to rain again, as if the clouds above Midgar were mourning the loss of the hundreds, maybe thousands of people killed by one touch of a button.

Did Reno care? Of course he did, it wasn't like he didn't have a conscience, but his priority was getting rid of the troublesome rebels. By dropping the plate, Shinra was protecting the majority of Midgar, and to Shinra that's all that mattered, surprisingly. Shinra wasn't exactly as heartless as everyone thought they were.

A little under a year ago, a terrorist group under the name 'Avalanche' blew up an office block belonging to Shinra. The group claimed full responsibility for the attack, saying that Shinra was destroying the planet with their 'god damn mako sucking plants.'

Office blocks changed to attacks on the Shinra building, to the reactors themselves. 

President Shinra had always been a rash man. 'You don't just get rid of the bug, you crush it,' was his motto. Reno couldn't argue with the man, dropping Sector seven was definitely crushing the rebels. Would have worked too if Coreno hadn't mouthed off about Shinra's plans. It didn't matter, gave Reno a reason to get rid of pimp now. Reno was extremely happy about that fact.

Now Avalanche was in their custody. They had come after the 'ancient girl' and were caught escaping. _So predictable_, Reno thought.

His PHS rang. Reno left his spot by the window, picking the small device off the table top.

"Reno here." The Turk muttered. 

_"Reno, it Tseng. I want you to go check on the President."_ Tseng's voice was choppy, as if he had something huge on his mind. 

"Why?" Reno asked.

_"Don't question, just do it."_ There was silence, a sigh, then."_Someone's massacring all the workers on the upper floors."_

"I'm on it." Reno hung up and walked out the door, smirking. _Maybe that someone will have already gotten there before I can make it._

* * * * * * * * *

The silence was un-nerving. 

Red liquid stained the tiles of the upper floors of the Shinra building. Reno stood in front of the sixty-ninth floor staircase, looking at his feet, at the blood that was coating the floor.

Never in his four years of being a Turk, had he seen anything like this. This was a total massacre. Granted he had never been around to see Nibelheim burn to the ground, but it couldn't have been worse than this. There were bodies of dead Shinra blues, lining the floor in front of the twin staircase. They all had a slash mark from their neck to there navel. If the cut had been any deeper, Reno was sure all of their insides would have popped out to say hello. The Turk was glad for this prospect.

Reno carefully step over the guards and made the journey up the stairs to the seventieth floor. Tseng had made him go and check on President Shinra. _He'd better already be dead._ Reno thought. _Because if he isn't I'll finish him off._

The blood in the Presidential office was fresher than anywhere else in the building. A flash of silver from the balcony caught Reno's eye, but he had more important things to do.

Reno found what he was hoping to for. President Shinra, pinned to his own desk by a thin, long sword. A sword that couldn't be mistaken for anything else. A Masamune. The plump man's body moved slightly, groaning as the sword shifted position. Reno caught himself grinned. _Resilient bastard._

The red haired Turk walked towards the desk, stopping just in line with President Shinra's vision. The man looked up as well as someone who was pinned to a desk could. He coughed slightly, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth.

"Turk...." The President choked. "Remove this god damn sword......."

Reno looked slightly amused. He tapped his chin with one finger.

"Do I really want to do that?" Reno mused. The President growled lowly.

"I didn't hire you for you to ponder!" Shinra glared. "I hired you to work, now do as I say."

Reno walked a little bit closer to the desk, looking intently at the sword. _Must thank Sephy one day......_

"It'd probably kill you if I removed it ya know." Reno told him as casually as if he was talking to a friend. "Being pinned to the desk is a lot better position for you anyway."

The President's eyes widened slightly.

"Turk!" He growled. Reno only gave him another amused look.

"I hope the fires of hell will be hot enough for you." Reno said cheerfully. He turned his back on the President before addressing him again. "Oh yeah! There was one thing I wanted you to know." He spun back round, walking until he was inches away from the blood covered desk. He bent over until his face was about an inch away from the other man's. "I could let you guess, but you might not have enough time........" Reno drawled on.

"Damn it Turk. I don't have time for games!" Shinra choked out, the volume of his voice fading.

"Well I have." Reno sneered. "But it would be better if I just told you." The redhead took a step back, looked at his fingernails as if he was cleaning them. There was clearly a grin on his face. "It will probably be a shock to you, but your son has a boyfriend." Reno chuckled at the horror that was clearly visible on the dying man's face. The Turk bent down until he was an inch from the President's face again. "Me." He whispered harshly. The President coughed violently as his body struggled for breath. He jerked back as he last breath left him, before coming to rest back on the desk, his body ceasing to breath any longer. Reno took a couple of steps backwards, before turning around completely and leaving the room.

As he did Cloud and the others entered the office.

* * * * * * * * *

He was President.

His father was dead and he was President.

He kept saying it in his head, but it still didn't feel true. It was too... unreal to believe. 

He was stood in the board room on the sixty-sixth floor. It was completely empty, but wouldn't be for too much longer. He had only been in Midgar for just over an hour, but he decided this needed to be sorted now. Rufus looked blankly around the huge room. His vision drifted to the larger chair at the far end of the table. _There's no way in hell that I'm sitting in that chair._ _Wonder if it'll just disappear if I command it?_ Rufus closed his eyes tight then opened them again. The chair was still there. He let a smile grace his lips.

"Guess not." He whispered, the smile remaining on his lips. He closed his eyes again, sinking into one of the chairs near the door, his thoughts wandering.

_Old man tried to control the world with money. It seems to have been working. The population thought that Shinra would protect them. Work at Shinra, get your pay. If a terrorist attacks, the Shinra army will help you. It looks perfect on the outside. But, I do things differently. I'll control the world with fear. It takes too much to do it like my old man. A little fear will control the minds of the common people. There's no reason to waste money on them._ Did he really believe that? He had to admit, it sounded good when he was saying it to Avalanche earlier. Since Sephiroth had appeared, Rufus thought that the population would be scared enough anyway. Scared people did stupid things, like listened to anything you told them. It would work to his advantage. He'd be damned if he ran the company anything like his old man had done.

In less than five minutes there would be a board meeting, a board meeting where everyone would be listening to him. He wouldn't just be on the side lines listening with half an ear anymore. He thought he could manage that, as long as he tuned out Heidegger and Scarlet's laughing at the right time. He could always tell them to shut up. He'd taken enough shit for a lifetime, it was about time people listened to him, took orders from him. Yesterday he was just his father's errand boy, today he owned the world.

Rufus opened his eyes as the Turks walked in, plus one extra. He assumed it was the new Turk Reno had been moaning to him about. _ If she sucks up to Tseng anymore, she'd be up his ass,_ he remembered were Reno's exact words. By the way Elena was scowling at the redhead, she didn't like him anymore than he liked her.

"Hey Pres." Reno smiled warmly. "Feel good to be home?"

Rufus smiled lightly. "Yes." It was then Rufus noticed the weary appearance of his lover. The beginnings of scratches could be seen from the top of his shirt, under his left eye had started to bruise. Rufus' smile faltered a little. "What happened to you?"

"Had a slight run in with our friendly terrorist group, no biggy." Reno shrugged it off.

"I've already told him to go home more than once sir." Tseng put in. "He won't listen."

Rufus nodded, walking over and stopping right in front of the redhead, his face an inch away from the other man's. "Go home." Rufus told him.

"But..."

"Go home Reno. You look like you need it."

Reno could see there was no point arguing. "Alright." He sighed reluctantly. He moved forward the extra inch and gave Rufus a quick kiss on the lips before leaving the room. Rufus shook his head with a smile on his face, before turning his attention to the Turk leader.

"Any idea where the circus freaks are?"

Tseng looked slightly amused at the question. "I think I hear at least Heidegger now Sir. Since I can hear him I'm assuming he's not alone." Sure enough, another round of Heidegger's boisterous laugh echoed down the hallway.

Rufus slapped a hand against his forehead. "I have a feeling someone is gonna be holding me back from beating the shit out of Heidegger by the end of the night." No had time to answer the blonde, before the parade of Shinra Executives walked into the room. Heidegger first with Scarlet not too far behind him. Not such a surprise since the two practically worked together. Palmer walked in a little way after that, followed by Reeve who looked as though he had the whole world on his shoulders. Last of all Hojo slinked, constantly mumbling to himself.

With all of them sat down Rufus walked to the top of the table. He looked at the chair for a split second, before he gave it a shove. It rolled away from the table, stopping as it hit the wall with a tap. Rufus leaned on the table, facing the room occupants. He wracked his brain for something to say, but Scarlet interrupted his train of thoughts.

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you as President, Rufus Sir." She said. Heidegger laughed. Rufus unconsciously clenched his hands around the edge of the table.

"Gya ha ha ha ha. We're sure you'll do as good a job, if not better, than your father Sir."

"Thank you Heidegger, but if you laugh like that again, I'll not hesitate to shove my shotgun up your ass." Rufus wanted to laugh at the reaction on Heidegger's face, but continued talking. "Any idea where Sephiroth went to?" _ I want to thank the bastard._

"He was last seen heading towards Junon Sir." Tseng answered from the top end of the room.

"Sir. If you have a parade in Junon, Sephiroth will most likely come out of hiding." Scarlet suggested. And so the meeting went on.

* * * * * * * * *

Rufus arrived at his apartment later that night, after hours of excessive rambles from mostly Scarlet and Heidegger. His head felt like someone was hitting him over and over again with a hammer. Rufus pinched the top of his nose for a few moments, before entering the last door. He opened his eyes to see Reno stood in front of him, a glass of brandy in his hand.

"I thought you'd need this after that meeting." The Turk told him.

"You have no idea." Rufus muttered as he took the glass, letting himself fall onto sofa he had walked over to. "Seriously how do you put up with Heidegger?"

"Stick my fingers in my ears whenever he's near by." Reno answered seriously. Rufus nodded, contemplating the answer.

"Maybe I should do that next time, I mean threatening him didn't work."

"Just sack the bastard, make everyone happy." Reno sat next to the blonde.

"I wish it was as easy as that." Rufus finished off the glass of alcohol. "Anyway enough about that." He leaned over and gave Reno a passionate kiss on the lips. He stayed leaned against the redhead's chest. "God I've missed this." He muttered.

"Me to." Reno added, giving him a kiss just as passionate back. "But no more talk just kiss." He mumbled. Rufus laughed slightly.

"Ok, not gonna ar--" He was silenced by yet another kiss.

* * * * * * * * *

_I wanna thank everyone that's reviewed so far, I really appreciate it loads, gives me the motivation to write knowing at least someone likes the story. There's more, it isn't finished yet, the end will probably make people cry, you can hate me for it if you want lol._

_Thanks!_


	7. Chapter 7

**Gomen Nasai**

* * *

Chapter Seven

_You could almost see the boy's bright blue eyes as he hid in the dark closet. His father was shouting him again. The boy prayed with all his strength that the man outside the door wouldn't find him._

_The boy heard the footsteps stop right outside the door. He held his breath, his eyes closed, waiting for the footsteps to be heard again. Waiting for them to walk away from the door._

_His waiting was in vain. The door to the closet opened sharply, the sudden light hurt the boy's eyes as he squinted at the man. The boy tried to resist as the man grabbed hold of the boy's wrist, dragging him out of the safety of the dark closet._

_The boy didn't know what he had done wrong. He always found himself running at the sound of his father's voice. The boy couldn't understand why his own father hated him so much._

_The grip on his wrist got tighter as the little blonde boy pulled and pulled to get away from his father's grasp. A whimper escaped his lips, but still the hand remained around his wrist. His father all but threw the little boy in to his room, closing the door after he, himself entered the room. The boy scampered to the corner, between the small gap amid the bed and the wall. The older man loomed over him._

_"Running away again boy?" The voice boomed, it sounded about ten times louder than it normally was. The boy whimpered again, wishing for the wall to swallow him up or something. _

_"N-no." The blonde whispered. A slap hit him across the face._

_"Don't lie to me boy! You can run all you want, but you won't escape me, not even after I'm dead and buried."_

_"T-that's not t-true." The boy stammered. The man laughed._

_"Believe me boy, it's the truth."_

_"Go to hell!" The boy screamed, his eyes shined with tears, but they never fell. The man grinned._

_"You first." Before the boy knew it, the floor underneath him turned black. He gasped as he began to fall._

_He kept falling, and falling, and falling................._

* * * * * * * * *

Rufus awoke with a start. Sweat dripping down the back of his neck, one leg out from under the pure white bed sheet. He brushed a hand threw his strawberry blonde hair as he looked at the other occupant of the bed. He watched Reno twitch slightly, as if he knew someone was watching him sleep. He smiled. _He looks so innocent when he's sleeping... _Rufus looked at the clock beside the bed. Five AM.

With a sigh, the new President of Shinra Inc arose from the warm sheets, the coldness of the air hitting his skin. He shivered a little. The little common sense that he had at this time in a morning told him to get dressed. He didn't question it. Rufus had only managed to pull on his trousers before a voice nearly startled him.

"You're up earlier."

_It's only Reno,_ Rufus' jumpy mind told him.

"Yeah I am aren't I?" The blonde answered quietly. Reno rubbed his eyes harshly while he yawned.

"Another dream?" The Turk asked. There was no point hiding from Reno, he already knew the blonde had had another dream. Rufus, still turned away from the redhead, nodded slightly.

"He's right, I can't hide from him, even if he is dead." A pair of arms wrapped around the President's waist, a chin snuggled on his shoulder.

"It's only a dream." Reno murmured. "It can't hurt you. He can't hurt you anymore, he's gone." They were the same words Reno had told him nearly every morning for the past two weeks, since the death of his so called father. Still the same words, but still they calmed him. Reno was right, he was gone, he couldn't hurt him anymore.

"Thank you." Rufus whispered.

"No need to thank me. I only do things because I want to."

Rufus closed his eyes and smiled. 

"You always say that." He said a while later.

"Huh?" A still sleepy Reno asked.

"Everytime I say thank you, you say the same thing back." Rufus elaborated. Reno chuckled.

"Guess I do." Reno pulled Rufus around so he could give him a quick kiss. He then let him go. "I'll see you tonight?"

"Sure."

* * * * * * * * *

"Reno, you baka! Give it back!" Elena yelled as Reno held a magazine just above his head, out of reach of the blonde woman's grasp.

"Ten ways to lose a pound in less than a week." Reno muttered reading out an article. He threw the book back at Elena. "You shouldn't be reading that shit. Lose anymore weight and you'd be a skeleton."

Elena scowled at the redhead.

"Gee, thanks."

"What?" Reno said defensively. "I meant it as a compliment." 

"Sure didn't sound like one."

"Shush, shush, children." Lorne said playfully, sipping this drink. Reno grabbed a newspaper, rolled it up and whacked his brother over the head with it. Lorne rubbed his head, glaring at the younger redhead. "No candy for you later." Lorne scolded, using a tone that he would when talking to a child.

"Arsehole." Reno muttered.

"Reno, stop moving." Came the voice from near Reno's shoulder. Rufus was leaning against the Turk, his eyes half shut.

All the Turks, plus Lorne were sat in the living room of Rufus' apartment. Most of the occupants of the room were nursing a glass of alcohol, besides Elena who was sulking, reading the magazine Reno had nabbed off her earlier, and Rufus who was half asleep. His glass laid untouched on the glass coffee table.

"If you're tired go to sleep." Reno told the sleepy blonde. Rufus lifted his head up a little and rested it back down on Reno's shoulder in an effort to make himself more comfortable.

"Not going without you." He mumbled.

"Awww." Came the amused voice of Lorne, who was sat next to Reno, his legs draped over the arm of the sofa. Reno picked up the paper again.

"Don't make me." The redhead warned. 

Lorne stuck his tongue out, before ripping the paper out of Reno's hands and uncurling it. He put his glass down on the table and opened up the paper to read it, sticking his tongue out a second time at his brother.

"So mature." Reno said sarcastically. "Sometimes I wonder who's the older one."

"I'd say Lorne by a little." 

"Who's side are you on Rude?" The younger Turk protested.

"Neither, just stating the facts." Rude told him, pouring himself another drink.

"He's right though." Elena said smugly, still reading the magazine.

"Elena. Remind me next time we train not to go easy on you." Reno muttered.

Elena threw her magazine at him.

"What do you mean go easy on me!?" She shrieked, then a little more dubiously, "You don't go easy on me do you?" 

"So paranoid." Reno laughed.

Elena huffed and dropped back in her chair. "Bastard." She muttered under her breath. 

"My, my, Elena. Such bad language for such a well brought up woman."

"Piss off." She retorted, picking up the magazine and slumping in the chair, attempting to ignore anymore come backs from Reno.

"You know, sometimes I feel like I'm just babysitting a bunch of children." Said Tseng, who hadn't talked much the whole evening.

"What do you mean feels like?" Lorne asked, still reading the paper. "They are children."

"About as much as you are Lor." Reno mumbled. It was Lorne's turn to roll up the paper and whack his brother over the head with it.

"Shouldn't comment when I have the weapon." Lorne laughed.

"That hurt." Reno moaned, rubbing his head.

"Serves you right Reno." Rufus said, lifting his head off Reno's shoulder having woken up a little. He picked up his glass from the table and drank it in one go, pouring himself another one.

"Hey! You're meant to be on my side." The redhead nudged Rufus in the ribs.

"What do I get out of it?" Rufus asked teasingly.

"Well I think that's my queue to leave and throw up in a bucket." Lorne said as he rose from his position on the couch. Reno gave him a push as he stood up. Lorne turned round and gave him a smug smile. "See ya tomorrow Re."

"Yeah, whatever." Reno waved a hand behind his back at his brother while looking at Rufus. Elena dropped the magazine dramatically on the table.

"Well I'm off. Bye Re re." She said the last bit as a taunt. Reno didn't look at her, but answered back.

"Bye rookie." 

Elena huffed and stormed off, shutting the door behind her. Rude shook his head and followed silently.

"You should stop taunting her like that Reno." Tseng said as he rose from his seat.

"But it's fun!" Reno whined. Tseng shook his head.

"See you tomorrow Reno, Sir." He said nodding his head at both the men in turn. With that, he left.

Reno twisted himself around so he could lay on the full length of the couch. Rufus took the hint and let Reno lay down before he laid in between his legs, his head on the redhead's chest. Reno absently played with a lock of Rufus' hair.

"We'll have to do that more often, it was amusing." Rufus murmured.

"How would you know?" Reno asked sceptically. "You were asleep for most of it."

"Not asleep, just resting my eyes. And besides, who can sleep with that racket going on in the background." Rufus closed his eyes and sunk further into the Turk's embrace. Reno chuckled.

"I try my best to make as much racket as possible."

"You don't have to try very hard." Rufus said with a smile on his face. Reno laughed and draped his arms over Rufus' shoulders.

"You wouldn't have it any other way, right?"

"Nope, nope and nope." Rufus said, locking his fingers in between Reno's own. He brought the hand up to his lips and kissed the redhead's fingers lightly. Rufus squeezed Reno's a little. 

"What's wrong?" Reno asked. Rufus squeezed a little more and resumed kissing.

"Nothing. Just wanted to say I love you Reno." Rufus murmured. If Reno's mind would have worked at all after that statement, he would have realised that was the first time, after three years of being lovers, that Rufus had said them three words. Soaking in the information, Reno rested his chin on the top of the blonde's head.

"I love you too." He murmured.

* * * * * * * * *

_One of them pointless (using the word lightly lol) chapters to make it seems less choppy and it's more for it's amusement factor (i.e. the little drinking gathering) than anything else. The next chapter is the last full one, followed by a smallish epilogue. Thankies for everyone who's kept reading the story!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Gomen Nasai**

* * *

Chapter Eight

Things were going from bad to worse. Sephiroth had called meteor. The said rock was now hanging in balance over the city of Midgar. If the meteor wasn't actually threatening the existence of every living thing in the world, it could have called 'pretty' in an weird way. Rufus thought that anyway, as he stared at the rock. _Everyone's depending on Shinra to get rid of it._ Rufus mused. _But I wonder, even after Sephiroth's gone, will it just disappear?_

He idly twiddled with a pen in his hands, watching the whole of Midgar carry on as normal, or at least trying to. Cars still ran down the highroads, people still walked. From the seventieth floor of the Shinra building you couldn't see the fear on the people's faces, only imagine it. 

Then there was the other problem. The Weapons. The huge monsters created by the planet to get rid of it's threat, even if it meant wiping out the human race to accomplish it. The Weapon attacks had gotten worse over the last few days. Junon had been hit more than once while he was staying there. Mideel had already been wiped out by the huge purple coloured Weapon. Then there was the gigantic silver coloured Weapon that was seen rising from the deaths of the sea, miles away from Midgar, but there was no mistake that the Weapon was heading straight for the city.

Rufus wasn't worried. The same cannon that had taken out a Weapon in Junon, was now hanging over Midgar, pointing towards the Northern Crater where Sephiroth resided, a huge barrier protecting him.

The President heard the door open and spun around. He was greeted by a kiss planted hard on his lips. Reno smirked slightly as he pulled back. The smirk faded quickly.

"Sorry. I just needed that." He whispered, wrapping his arms around the blonde's waist. Rufus smiled and kissed equally hard back.

"Who said I minded?"

"No one, but I would have hit you round the head if u did mind." Reno said in a attempt to lighten the situation. Rufus smiled lightly. 

"You ok?" He asked. For once the roll reversed.

Reno looked a little surprised, but shook it off.

"I'm fine, or will be after this shit's over." He mumbled.

"Won't we all?" Rufus murmured. Reno looked at his watch.

"I suppose I'd better to go." He said reluctantly. "Got a job to do surprisingly." Rufus slid his fingers between Reno in an effort to keep him there a little long. Even more reluctantly than before, Reno started to take a step back, their fingers still intertwined with each others. The redhead took another step back and slowly their fingers came free.

"See you later." Rufus whispered. "Love you." He said as an after thought. For some reason his stomach was creating a bottomless hole which the contents of his stomach weren't liking one bit. Reno smiled.

"You too." He then left the room, the door closing slowly.

Rufus took another look at the very small silver dot on the horizon. His eyes then drifted to look at the huge rock in the sky. Still looking out the window, Rufus heard his intercom click on.

"Hah, hah, hah, Mr. President, preparations for Sister Ray are now in order." Boomed Heidegger's voice. Rufus' eyes travelled along the long barrel of the Sister Ray, meeting again with the now slightly larger silver dot.

"Hah, hah, hah! Anytime is fine." Scarlet laughed. Rufus knew Scarlet couldn't wait to see her plan become a success. The President sighed, closing his eyes. He muttered the word she was waiting to hear,

"......Fire."

Rufus watched as the Sister Ray powered up. The lights flickered out in his office. The whole of Midgar plunged into darkness as the cannon took all the power it could to create a single shot. Everything was silent for a split second, until the cannon drew all the energy together one last time. The Sister Ray fired with a huge bang. The windows of the Shinra building shattered outwards, the glass showering the concrete below. Wind whipped around Rufus' hair. He moved a lock of it in an attempt to stop it blowing in his eyes, but it blew back. Rufus gave in with a sigh. He turned away from the window to get away from the wind. The wind ceased to be as strong as he stood near his desk, running a hand over the cool metal. The unmistakable sound of the intercom was heard, as it clicked on again.

"Sir! Weapon's been defeated!! The barrier has disappeared!" The operator shouted out, sounding ecstatic. Rufus blinked slowly, a small smiled gracing his lips. _Two problems down...._

"Sir!" The now panicked voice of the operator said, "A mass of high density energy is heading towards Midgar!"

Rufus spun back round. As the operator had said, yellow beams of energy were heading towards Midgar, more specifically towards him. His uneasy stomach churned a whole lot more. His fear froze him still. The attack was heading right towards him, yet he couldn't move. As his senses gained control again, he did the only thing he could. He shielded himself using his arm, not realising that it wouldn't do a whole lot in protecting him. 

The first blast shook the building, a few floor below. Rufus lost his footing slightly. He didn't have to wait long for the second blast. It directly hit his office. The energy seemed to expand as it hit it's target. The light seared his skin. The pain was overwhelming. Rufus dropped to his knees as another blast hit the building. Then another. The fifth blast hit the office again. Rufus felt as though the energy was tearing his skin apart. Unable to take anymore, he fell the rest of the way to the floor. He screwed his face up in pain, but still he didn't scream out loud. 

Then came the eerie silence. The energy attack had ceased. Only the crackle from small fires that scattered the office reached Rufus' ears. He took a deep breath from where he was laid, blinking slowly. As pain shot through him he hissed, closing his eyes tight.

_It won't hurt for much longer,_ he told himself. He wondered just how many times he had said that same line, over and over again. He managed to smile grimly.

_But this time it's true._ _It won't hurt much longer._ But this time was different. True, he didn't want it to hurt any longer, but he didn't want to die.

For the first time in his life he had something to live for. That's what was different. 

He felt his skin burn like it was on fire. He felt the growing pool of crimson touch his outstretched finger tips. With as much effort as he could muster, he dipped his fingers into the liquid and rubbed his finger and thumb together lightly. A voice rung in his head.

_No-one's ever seen him bleed or cry._

How wrong they were. Rufus would have laughed bitterly if he had the strength to. A tear ran down his cheek onto the burnt carpet below him.

_No-one's ever seen him bleed or cry._

He had bled more than once in his life. Most of the time it was courtesy of his own father. Other times it was his own doing, but never once had he cried. He never saw reason to. Until now.......

For the first time in his life, he was scared. It wasn't the first time he had stared death in the face. All the other times he was never scared, he even welcomed it. _This time I actually have....... ** had**...... something to live for._

Another tear joined the first. His skin continued to burn. The crimson liquid continued to grow. If he had the strength to, he would have curled up in a ball in the corner of the room.

Everything was silent now. He closed his azure eyes and opened them slowly again. His strawberry blonde hair was limp against his head.

_I'm sorry.........._

The number of people that would have given anything to see the President of Shinra like this. The number of people that would embedded a bullet in the young blonde's head was even higher. It didn't matter to him what they thought. Only one person mattered.

_I'm sorry..........._

**_Life's a dream. Sometimes it's a nightmare, sometimes it's pleasurable, but like everything it'll end one day, no matter how indestructible you think you are._**

Rufus remembered when he was told that. _If it's a dream, tell me why it hurts so damn much?_

As if to remind him, pain raged through his stomach. He shut his eyes tightly and breathed a shuddery breath. His head felt lighter. His vision was blurry. All he wanted to do was shut his eyes.

He gave into temptation. Slowly, he shut his cobalt eyes for the last time. He breathed unevenly a few times. 

_I'm sorry Reno._

He breathed his last shuddery breath as the rest of Midgar carried on the way it always had done.

* * * * * * * * *

Reno couldn't take his eyes off the Shinra building as the Weapon's attack began to assault it. His heart felt like it had dropped a few hundred feet and then some. He blinked a few hundred times, hoping it was just crazy hallucination he was having, but it wasn't, it was all real. Another explosion hit the building, making the redhead wince.

"Rufus......" He murmured. His mouth slowly but gradually dried up, a huge lump rose in his throat. He took a deep breath, but it only seemed to make it worse. His vision started to go blurry. Reno rubbed his eyes harshly. "God damn it.." He muttered even quieter than before. He vaguely remembered the other two Turks stood behind him, Rude's hand on his shoulder served to remind him. 

"Reno..." Rude started. Reno shook of the hand violently and walked away a few steps. He stood silently, his hands clenched, shaking with anger. As sudden as it came, the anger left him. He let himself squat to the floor, not bothering to stop the tears that had started to run down his cheeks. They were silent tears, no sobs came from his throat. He just let them fall. 

He wasn't the kind of man that cried. He couldn't even remember the last time he had cried, but it wasn't stopping the tears from falling. He didn't care anymore. The only thing he cared about was gone.

The rain started to fall. Still Reno sat on his heels. The rain mixed with his tears. Anyone that would have looked him wouldn't have been able to tell where the rain stopped and the tears started. His suit became drenched, sticking to his skin, but he acted as though he didn't notice. His face looked void of everything, his eyes stared into nothingness.

Rude and Elena stood a few feet behind the redhead. Elena found the situation unnerving. She couldn't remember a time when she had ever seen Reno upset, it didn't seem like an emotion that someone such as him had. Maybe that's why she said nothing. She didn't know what to say anyway. Rude ventured towards Reno, again placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Let's get going." The bald man murmured. 

"He's gone.." Reno mumbled.

"You don't know that-"

"I do." Reno interrupted. "I just know......" Rude didn't speak again. Instead he moved his hand under Reno's arm, and pulled him up. Reno didn't resist it. He looked at Rude, the rims of his eyes slightly red. He caught Rude looking at him so flipped his sunglasses over his eyes. He again shook off Rude's hold on him and walked slowly towards the Shinra building without a word.

"Aren't you gonna go with him?" Elena asked when Reno was out of hearing range. Rude shook his head and turned to walk in the opposite direction. Elena took one more look at Reno before following the bald headed Turk. 

* * * * * * * * *

Somehow, Reno found a way to the seventieth floor that wasn't decimated by Weapon's blast. Cold air whipped around the huge room. The sky was now visible through a huge hole in the ceiling, the whole office ruined beyond recognition.

Reno's eye caught Rufus laid near his desk. He slowly walked towards him, over the crumbled plaster and snapped metal. He stopped when he stood next to the blonde. 

_ "Are you telling me no one listens to me? Me? The great Reno?" _

_ "Great? That makes you sound like a magician or something." _

_ "Ah, but I can do magic tricks. See?"_

_ "That's the lamest trick I've ever seen." _

_ "Well, if I knew you wanted a magic show I would have brought all my tricks."_

_ "What? Including a white rabbit in a hat?"_

He squatted down next to him, lifting a lock of dirty blonde hair that had fell across Rufus' face. The blonde's eyes were closed, his face had lost any expression it had before. A cut across Rufus' cheek had began to dry out, but streaks of blood had ran down his face and fell onto the already soaking carpet. His skin was cold to the touch, Reno noted. He let his hand linger on Rufus' cheek.

_ "I try my best to make as much racket as possible."_

_ "You don't have to try very hard." _

_ "You wouldn't have it any other way, right?"_

_ "Nope, nope and nope." _

_ "What's wrong?" _

_ "Nothing. Just wanted to say I love you Reno." _

_ "I love you too."_

Reno let himself sit on what ended up being a piece of plaster from the ceiling. He took one of Rufus' hand and brought it up to his cheek._ So cold......._

_ "You ok?" _

_ "I'm fine, or will be after this shit's over."_

_ "Won't we all?" _

_ "I suppose I'd better to go. Got a job to do surprising." _

_ "See you later. Love you." _

_ "You too."_

It was then Reno let out the sob he'd been holding back so long. He squeezed the hand tighter, threading his fingers through the others. He kissed the hand, his tears falling on the cold skin.

"Rufus......" Reno murmured. "I'm sorry.........."

* * * * * * * * *

_One last bit...... *sniff*_


	9. Epilogue

**Gomen Nasai**

* * *

Epilogue

_Have you ever lost something that was so precious to you, virtually braking you apart? Have you ever lost that special someone, that someone who without, the world just doesn't seem as nice anymore? If you have, you know how I'm feeling right now. If you haven't, believe me you never want to. _

_I thought if I could bury all my feelings away, if I could forget about him everything would be ok. It doesn't work like that. You can't forget about them. Everything you seem to do reminds you of them. It's like a permanent imprint on your brain. You can never forget their smile, their voice, their eyes._

_It hurts more when you lock it all away. Sure it hurts to cry, hurts to mourn for the person, but locking it away can destroy you. I found out the hard way. They say that the survivors suffer more than the casualties, but at least I'm still here, although at times I wish I wasn't. I miss him like hell. I loved him, hell I still love him. I've wished a hundred times over that it was me dead instead of him. _

_He's buried on the mountains overlooking (the what are now ruins of) Midgar. We'd come here sometimes, just me and him. We'd forget everything that sucked in life just for a few hours. He always liked it there. _

_We have good memories together, some bad. I'll never forget any of them. Rufus, maybe one day we'll meet again, who knows? Nothing will ever stop me loving you. _

_I'm sorry........... I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to save you. I'm sorry you had such a miserable life. Maybe I failed you that night, but I'm sure glad I didn't fail you the first time. Otherwise I would have never know the real you, the one you kept locked up in a closet for no one else to see._

_Goodbye Rufus, sleep tight._

_~Reno._

**~Owari~**

* * * * * * * * *

Author Notes:

Ok I'm mean aren't I? This is the first dwell-on-a-death (for lack of anything else to call it) that I've written, the first full length Yaoi story I've written and the first lemon I've written (if you're reading this on ff.net, the lemon is at the following url: www.tantalus.nu/writing/fanfiction/gemon03_lemon.htm if you want to see it)

I want to thank everyone that's read the story. I've said this more than once but I appreciate the comments.

Personally, I think Rufus is a tad bit soft in this fic but because of the upbringing I made him have, I found it hard to make him a harsh person around Reno, who he's nearly always around in the story. Reno seems a bit soft too, but they aren't even shown that much in the game so how do people know that it's not an act they use around others hmm? Making excuses for myself lol. 

Hope everyone enjoyed the fic! 

Ciao! 

Lindz.


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